Filling the Void with Joyce Manor
Some barely pulled together thoughts on an album I adore
Filling the Void with Joyce Manor
I had a bit of a breakdown earlier this week trying to figure out why I can’t seem to do the things I want to do. Like, write this newsletter, for instance. Or go to a show and not feel like I’m bothering every person around me. But I figured I should try the ol’ "just do it" technique to dodge my crippling perfectionist-slacker combo. If it worked for Shia LaBeouf, then it must work for me.
Anyway, in an attempt to write more regularly to the good people who read this thing, the board (me) came to a decision (moped on the couch for an hour) on what topic Orbiting Punk should cover next (loosely obsess about in far too many words). And the issue of the week is:
Joyce Manor
I remember vividly discovering this band in 2015 while going down a YouTube rabbit hole of recommendations after wringing the Jeff Rosenstock dry (there wasn’t much at the time). It was how I found bands like Shinobu, FIDLAR and Beach Slang. But probably the song that stuck with me the most out of this vein was Joyce Manor’s “Constant Headache.”
And of course it did. It’s a great song. It’s lyrically dense too. The whole piece is instantly recitable for me and so many other people. Maybe it’s the melody or the hook, but the song keeps you pulled in from start to end. It’s loud and ruckus but it’s also pointed and contained, specifically by Barry Johnson’s vocals. It’s also the saddest guitar chug I’ve ever enjoyed in a song.
Being a sad boi who struggled with headaches and teeth grinding (still do), it was perfect. But it’s not just about that. I think it’s about witnessing a one-night stand between a roommate or a friend or something. But at the time, I thought it was about waking up in a relationship you didn’t want to be a part of anymore. And that interpretation gave that song a ton of emotional relatability.
“You took two steps to the kitchen and just stared at the sink
I couldn't hold back a smile, I still wish I could have seen
You having sex in the morning, your love was foreign to me
It made me think maybe human is not such a bad thing to be”
Those lines always stood out to me. It was the first part of the song I remember learning beyond the chorus as I would scream while driving to work at Kmart. I love the description and imagery of it all. I vividly can imagine myself in bed watching my partner get up, walk to the doorway and stop to stare at the sink. In those mundane seconds after a perfect night, you feel a way you should always feel. Happy. Loved. Peaceful. Maybe existing is worth it?
Unfortunately, life isn’t the way we think it should be most of the time. Those feelings are a high we all chase for better or worse. And for a while, “Constant Headache” helped me feel a glimpse of that. Like all songs, it loses its power over time. You play it to death. You seek something similar to fill the void. You wring it dry and move on to the next thing.
I started listening to the rest of the Joyce Manor self-titled (ST) album, which would become by far my favorite release of their discography. It’s such a tightly packed album that defines “all killers, no filler.” In less than 19 minutes, the album batters you with imagery and jagged guitar tones. You wish you had more album to hang on to but at the same time don’t.
I’m glad these songs are so short because if there were more, I don’t think I would have listened to them as obsessively as I did. It’s the art of the chase. Knowing when to hold your cards and when to deal them out. And whatever other cliches you want to throw on, maybe something about holding punches?
“Orange Julius” is the perfect example of this phenomenon. It really does everything the first track on an album should do. It sets the tone and pace while also being a gripping song in its own right. The image of “Stretching out cheap cotton over your thick skull” has got to be one of my favorite lines of all time. What a way to get across stubbornness. Whenever I slip on a beanie, I still think of those words. And it’s that tiny bit of imagery that will hold you for the duration of the song. And before you know it, it’s all over. You have to replay it because that line was just so damn good you forgot to listen to the rest of it.
And it’s so worth the relisten. Although not as concise as cheap cotton / thick skull, the hook is deeply poignant, especially for someone who identifies with being the misunderstood, pretentious, artsy kid who was bullied in high school.
“You're a cold and quiet paradise
Transfixed just by your breathing
Into the night
And you're the one thing I don't hate
You're a cold and quiet paradise
My only true escape into the night”
These lines are about finding happiness in ideas of revenge. But to me they were also about a person, maybe a partner that made me feel safe and happy. Seeing paradise by simply being beside them and being able to escape the world you hate with them.
“Derailed” is this track's natural continuation, literally saying “you’re obsessed with revenge,” which I assume is the narrator describing their own life. It’s also just a sick song. It isn't often that a piece can simultaneously have poignant words on feeling stuck forever, unable to mend your ways, while juxtaposing falling in love with explosions and screaming children. Oh, and it does this in less than 2 minutes.
“Beach Community,” “Famous Friend,” “Leather Jacket,” and the rest of the album frankly are worth checking out. I’m sorry for fan-gushing so much about this band. It’s gross, I know.
There would be moments in the future when I’d hear one of those songs again and I’d instantly feel warm. Like in 2019, at a DIY show in Georgia, a new band called Box Prince covered “Constant Headache” in their set. I was there to take photos for a story but I couldn’t help but shout along as I was supposed to be shooting. It took me a minute to realize who they were covering and why I knew these lyrics more instinctively than my own zip code.
In 2017, I was in Austin for a college press convention and Joyce Manor just happened to be in town. I was there alone with my college professor and wasn’t great at making new friends. So I went to the show to have something to do that night. I thought I could maybe score an interview with the band too (at the time, they were huge in the scene but I thought they were still a fairly underground band). So I went with my bag (laptop inside), not knowing what to expect. The show was in the back of this Steakhouse/Bar venue that was stereotypically Texan. I remember getting to the door for them to mark my wrist or whatever and telling me no bags were allowed. So I had to run inside and find a place to hide it. Luckily, one of the servers showed me a place where I could hide my bag. In hindsight, I feel bad for annoying some poor serve. Why would I bring my laptop?
I went inside, shy and awkward as per usual, trying my best to figure out how I could make a story out of the night to make my professor proud. I was able to talk down a security guard to get guitarist Chase Knobbe to come out and talk with me. Over the barricades, he gave me an email for a person at Epitaph Records but nothing came of it. I met two people, a brother and a sister about my age, maybe a year or two younger. They drove in an hour from outside of town to see Rozwell Kid who played before Joyce Manor. We got to know one another and I learned it was their first time at a big show so they were working up the courage to mosh. They were kind enough to let me put my bag to put in their car and together we made our way into the crowd (I wonder if we'll ever meet again).
I was feeling on edge on account of not knowing whether or not I should be doing something music journalism-y or if I should just go off and enjoy the pit with them. But Once “Derailed” started playing and I saw their faces rise and fall between flaying limbs and shoving bodies, I knew where I belonged.
All of this corny mess is to say that Joyce Manor is awesome and although I never quite got as much out of their other albums as I did their ST, that one release was more than enough to make me a lifelong fan. They’ve got an album coming out next week that will undoubtedly not fill the void their ST did but it will be nice to jump back in one more time.
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